Fragrance of the moment

Love …

Fragrance of the Moment — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:33:55 +0000

I found this beautiful words … but don’t know by who they are, quite a few people posted them, but cant’t find who … if you happen to know, please let me know

“Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first real kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them. Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things. Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break. Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down. Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when no one else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be loved.”

6 months

Fragrance of the Moment — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:33:07 +0000

messages from 6 months ago: open, happy, sharing, caring, lovely

6 months later: silence. nothing.

how can you sit one row in front of me without neighbour in the plane, 45 minutes long, without turning, without talking. without having anything to say. and why it happend that all I wanted was just that you turn and show some interest. in me. any sign that at least you care at all. how can you be like this. why you don’t tell me why? that I can understand. tell me at least t hat everything go. give me this. give me peace. for myself. why are you so important to me and I am nothing to you? how could I let that happend. how could I let you make me feel like nothing.

like a button pushed. is this it? the famous difference between man and woman? you just turn and continue without having any feelings, any need for the person.

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid.

how

Fragrance of the Moment — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:26:09 +0000

how can it be that you want not have me (anymore)?

unhealthy

Fragrance of the Moment — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:56:18 +0000

this is so unhealthy. I have to stop. stop to pretend we could be friends. it doesn’t work. what i want from you is to be very close. and for you it means distance. I cannot. I want to stop. it hurt, hurt, hurt. cannot remember to have felt like this ever before. somehow, in a strange way, I fell for you. heavily attracted. it builds up in my head and everytime there is real contact it is slashed down.m I wanted you to be special to me and to be special to you. but it does not work.

how much more has it to hurt and how much more do I have to cry before the heart follows the head?

maybe

Fragrance of the Moment — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:58:58 +0000

I don’t want to be the one to say goodbye
But I will, I will, I will
I don’t want to sit on the pavement while you fly
But I will, I will, oh yes I will

Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back, you’re gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back, you’re gonna come back
The only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you’re gonna come back, you’re gonna come back, you’re gonna come back to me

I don’t want to be the first to let it go
But I know, I know, I know
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I’ve got to let them go

Ingrid Michaelson Maybe

expectations

Fragrance of the Moment — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:27:04 +0000

I do not understand you. still I cannot let you. not because I want not. I want. but I cannot. because always I want tell you something. reflect. get the opposite opinion. challenge. I think this the word to put as a title, or take as keyword for this quest of friendship. I really wish so much to know if you are honest. if this is a game for you, I would get crazy. maybe you only make fun about me. never I have this with my other friends. or are you really just such a complicated, so different person?

I am really curious what will happen this week. If something changed. You ask for time and I ask for commitment. How shall this ever work? But, assuming that you are honest, and also really want this, why do you want it? is it for you the same as for me that you do not know but it also doesn’t let you. I really wish that it would be possible for me to just let you. but I cannot. you got so important to me without me even really noticing. I let you in my heart fast, and even if I really try, somehow you stick there, I try already to rip you out there, but I didn’t get the hold

I am so afraid that you only play a game, because I don’t.

Fragrance of the Moment — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:58:56 +0000

I told you that it is stronger in me than in you. I see in your eyes that there is no desire left. good. this what we want. I just didn’t manage to kill it. I push it back but it didn’t go. I really wish I was not so addicted to you.

I still feel the one kiss. not the first one, the first real one. where you let your desire flow for the moment freely. and I was just full of you. no room left for anything else. lost in the moment. so short. still here. still present. I will keep this.

changes

Fragrance of the Moment — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:50:46 +0000

we try. again. I see you try. I hope, I wish that it works. I try myself. i hold myself back. ok I try – not always sucessful. good to talk to you. just always to short. i want spend hours with you, only talking. I enjoy it so much. feeling challenged by your always contrary perception of things. opening the eyes for the other ways …

still I am like an addict. I do not get enough. I want always more. and you build the barrieres higher. I am completely open and you are completely closed. two poles, two extremes.

I talk to you and still miss you. Never did I have to beg anybody to be my friend. Never did I put so much effort in getting closer to a person. Normal my friedships evolved organically with the perception of interest and speciality on both sides. but with you? half the time I feel like an idiot. half the time I see that this is too much for you. but I cannot stop.

and then I wonder if it is really you. or the picture I created in my head. are you the same that I perceive? are you the same that I have conversations in my head with?

and still I do not understand what happened. you was open, not very much but still talking about yourself. now? never. you issue general statements. and i on the contrary constantly talk only about myself. I start to be an egoistic, narcistic something.

but we try. and I thank you that you try and I hope that you see that I also try.

Not so easy

Fragrance of the Moment — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:46:48 +0000

It is not so easy. Drowning you in my anger helped, a lot. But it also opened my heart again for you. And – stupid me – I let you in again. And you have nothing better to do to go back to ignoring and hurting me the moment you feel that I still like you. Why? Do you sit and laugh? Either idiot or asshole. None of these options I would have choosen to be one of my parts. Why not just somebody comes and tells me that I was mistaken. You are nothing special. And I could stop. Please, this somebody can you come now

release the tension

Fragrance of the Moment — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:49:21 +0000

after I screamed at you and told you how bad you are I feel much better.

I think it is over. Healed.

Thank you for the attention